terrible?
Songbird Sounds
His girl is a sooty hearth;
Igniting her jaw, he wishes her well.
Her teeth less restrained than the soil that chokes him,
She'll move to sedate him until rage screams, far pent.
But she'll claim a mountain for him,
Turning fingers to fists at lowly peaks.
She blows grains from the hourglass;
He skips 'round the clock.
He hums, a mother at wit's end;
Her linens soak salty as lines entice her ear.
His story obscured, electrical, sullied,
He'll wander the mountains, writhe with song.
But he'll vow a garden for her,
Then swallow the earth that preserves her pulse.
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Comments
I am not sure if the title "Terrible?" is a rhetorical question or the
title of the poem! Birdsong seems to fit the subject so
I guess you meant that.
Its a wonderful poem Rebecca. The first lines grabbed
my attention right away. Lots of dynamic muscular images
that lead the reader into your thought-world.
Its not an easy read and perhaps you might
consider some development of some of the visuals
just for clarity sake.
Bottom line: I loved this work!
e
As with some poetry, I don't understand the meaning, but I don't need to. Your language use is excellent. I really love this poem. I felt like it was about lovers, almost like an Egon Schiele painting with its desperation. I needed to let go of my literal nature and just flow with this exquisite poem. That first line just grabbed me! I love the marriage imagery here, "she'll claim a mountain" and "he'll vow a garden." Kind of like a creation myth too here. Excellent work. Glad I checked in with the group, which I usually don't do.
Lucy
www.geomedia.com.ua is thes terrible too??
I am kidding